A woman with a changing face, impressionists, city hills and dancing on a bridge.

The phase where I took a dose and did preparations, waiting to see how the effects of the substance would build up.
Nothing much was going on. I prepared everything I needed for the evening: food, drinks, catalogs with drawings, my notebook and pen. The effects of the drug slowly built up until they were clearly noticeable

we put a whole dose under the tongue and held it there for about 20-25 minutes.

16:58. I started to get powerfully clammy and it was like waves were coming up inside. The brightness of the light changed from very bright to dim. Then I realized that it was because my pupils were dilating and then shrinking, so the amount of light coming through the pupil was changing.

it's like I'm watching what's happening to me from somewhere in the depths.

A pleasant, soft throbbing sensation permeated everything, a shiver ran through my body and I was mesmerized by it. Everything was in such a muted moiré and it felt like it wasn't me writing these lines

I began to look at the catalog and the colors in it became brighter, as if the saturation was revived and the perspective changed a little. The album suddenly seemed smaller in size, the paints began to electrify and mix with light and color.

💬 17:12. E and I stared at a Paul Cézanne album for ten minutes. I had a bad boil, the light was changing brightness
Everything you focus on starts breathing and moving.

The feeling of floating in weightlessness, not touching anything. All you had to do was live it.

17:18. I feel like my arm and part of my lungs are numb. I want to move to the rhythm of the music. It feels like everything is obeying it. When the melody changes, I feel discomfort for a few moments, as if I have to adjust to a new tune, a new wave.

17:35. We moved and danced a lot.

17:47. BP 140/91, pulse 82 beats per minute (I measured it).
We had something to eat and it was a lot of fun. There was a lot of joking and laughing

17:59. it feels like my body is shaking
E.'s face endlessly changes its outlines. As if it has no clear boundaries - it blurs on the border with a gradient

18:02. A shiver runs through my body. It feels stronger this time. It seems like the boundaries have shifted or they are very soft and it feels like I can feel the same things that E does

18:10. Just dancing to the music and snapping the rhythm with our fingers
18:17. Questions that came to my mind: how can I express myself through creativity? what is within my control? How can I become the energy that will continue?

18:27. We looked at the Impressionist catalog with E. for a long time. In different light, we had different sensations from the paintings. It seems that in many ways E. and I have the same feelings. A shiver ran through my body.

18:37. Feeling clarity and adequacy. A little throbbing all around, but it feels good. Just a little restless.

18:51. Can't see clearly. Everything is scattered, moving, outlines unclear.
19:17 p.m. Trying to eat dinner. Fun. We're thinking of going to Vysehrad. The idea doesn't seem as crazy as it used to.

19:54. It's gotten a little sad. I thought about my dad.
Maybe it was the music that affected me. My thoughts led me to think that my song would end someday and another record would be put on. Thought about the meaning and purpose of what I'm doing here in this world. What are we all doing here? What was in my song? What were the words? What was the meaning?

20:20. Me and my experience of watching myself in the mirror.
I went to the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. I squatted down and stared at my reflection. I could not take my eyes off my face and it began to change: everything changed except my eyes - they remained unchanged, but the face moved, becoming an ancient old woman, a young girl, a lizard woman, ornaments, hieroglyphs and signs ran through it, everything shimmered and split into parts and at some point I saw a skull instead of my face. It was impressive. At that moment I felt connected to those who had gone before me, who had lived and incarnated, grown and died before me and how something unchanging moved through these women through the centuries. I thought of my mother. That she had passed her part into the future through me. What would I pass on next?

20:47. We're going to Vysehrad. Dressed warmly and comfortably. E. set up our headphones so that we could listen to music from a common playlist at the same time. I wanted to move and felt joy. I felt love and gratitude for everything in the world, for E. and my life. I wanted to dance

21:10. A moment at Vysehrad. As we walked up the stone road, there were lighted lanterns along it. I looked at them and thought of a time when lanterns were lit by hand. One from the other.

And the image from my first trip came to me again: then I saw in my imagination a source of light around which balloons were gathered. These balloons aspired to the light source and received some of the light into themselves. In this way the light was spreading.
Then I had the idea that we can transfer some of our energy by interacting on a deep level (our true self) with others, transferring a part of ourselves to them. But as with fire, the source does not lose its energy in doing so, it simply spreads the light.
From one to another it can last forever in time if it is passed on.

And at that moment I imagined that from one lantern you could light thousands and millions of others. I was inspired.

And I had this image of a big river running through the plain. And I thought about the fact that all the big rivers that nourish life around us have their origin. The image of the Yangtze River came into my mind. And I thought, where is the beginning of this great river? Because every river starts somewhere. Some small brook gave it its beginning and only then it somehow became the mighty Yangtze River

As we approached the Cathedral of Peter and Paul and I looked from afar at its 2 towering towers, the thought of pairing came to me. About couple relationships and what keeps people together. I thought about how life can turn anywhere and that any relationship doesn't last forever. But what connects people together for the long haul is the conscious desire of two to be together, to nurture that connection and maintain it. This doesn't mean that everything will happen on its own, but We may be separate, but we make the decision to be together.

We spent about 40-60 minutes on Vysehrad. I felt myself letting go a little bit. But slowly. We didn't feel tired at all and were full of energy. After looking at the river and the surroundings from the height, we decided to go for a walk in the city. We went across the Nusel bridge.
We listened to music and the energy overwhelmed me. I couldn't walk still - I wanted to dance. So I started dancing. When we got to the bridge we sometimes ran across, it was deserted and I kept dancing all the way across the bridge. The music was flowing through me. I didn't want to stop. We walked and walked but we didn't feel like going home so we decided to go to Letna to the Metronome. It was beautiful in the city at night. The mood was great.

We reached the ascent to Letna and I wanted to dance again. So I danced almost the whole way with small breaks. In this way we crossed the Lena to the Prague Castle, bypassed it because the road to it was closed and went to Petřín.
During this period I felt an extraordinary unity with E. and an elevated state of mind. In spite of a rather difficult route with ascents it was easy for us and the energy did not leave us until about 03 o'clock in the morning.

When we finished our journey, only a little fatigue in our legs reminded us of the journey we had made.

By 3 am I was almost completely recovered from the effects of the substance