the void honey ocean

An experience by faithful-bear

This experience doesn't have an overview yet

Mindset

Mood:Curious, reckless. I was not in a very good mindplace back then. I think M actually helped me get through a rough patch.
Intentions:I did not have a particular goal in mind. But I guess healing is what happened.
Expectations:I expected to feel more mindful and excited.

Setting

Start Date:2018-03-21
Start Time:20:00 UTC
Social:I was with my partner.
Cultural:We were in an apartment, playing music videos on a projector.

Physical Condition

Physical Health:healthy

Overview

T+0m dose 100.0 mg of MDMA
T+15m phase M
T+2000d meq30 #meq30-798

Experience Timeline

  • Dose

    T+0m

    100.0 mg of MDMA

    ⚠️ Not tested (reagen or lab)

    I dissolved the crystal in a glass of white wine. I do not really know the exact dose I took.
  • Come up

    T+15m

    M

    I expected to be more excited and active after I took M, but I felt more calm and like my insides (both organs and my mind) were slowly dissolving until there was nothing inside but an endless ocean. The feeling could mostly be approximated to euphoria and satisfaction. Like everything is done and finished and there is no need, no striving, no sadness, or pain. Just a stillness. It felt good to just watch the wall in front of me. Or close my eyes. I did not feel like moving, I felt I do not even need to breathe, let alone contract some other muscles. I was just weightlessly floating under water. There were not even that many thoughts, like there was honey in my brain, but not as sweet. I was trying to connect with my partner, and I liked the fact that he was around, but mostly it felt good just to be by myself. It withdrew me from any contact.
  • Meq30

    T+2000d

    1. Freedom from the limitations of your personal self and feeling a unity or bond with what was felt to be greater than your personal self.

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